Three practices to finally end PE
Lately, I have had a flood of clients who struggle with PE problems.
You see, performance anxiety (PE and ED), as per my observation, has grown so big lately for many western men, in essence, because we lost the art of being PRESENT and truly just BEING with the matter at hand. We lost it because of how speedy and oversaturated with stimuli our lives have become. And it applies to all areas of our lives.
What I am about to share with you will strongly require your presence, your slowness, and your commitment to the part of you who knows how to live a thriving life being an artist of love and a master of intimacy. Because we all have that in us.
If you apply these tips at least 3-5 times a week for the whole month, you will notice a radical change in how you show up in the bedroom, how you love and how you f*ck.
The three main things you need to do in order to heal Premature Ejaculation and never remember it again:
1. REMOVE P0RN COMPLETELY FROM YOUR LIFE.
Yes, I know you know that p0rn is toxic. But I am going to reiterate it again, that it is extremely harmful to your body, your brain, your intimacy and your overall perception of intimate human connection. Through watching p0rn your body is slowly getting used to ejaculating fast. So the more you watch p0rn and masturbate to it, the more you prime your brain and your whole nervous system to release quickly, and thus perpetuate premature ejaculation in real intimate moments.
It will be hard in the beginning if you are really hooked on it. Remove all the aps and resist the urge to look even at social media images. Create a challenge for yourself for 30 days. Ask your buddy to join so that you keep each other accountable. And hold a long term vision WHY you are doing it!
2. CONSCIOUS SELF-PLEASURE PRACTICE.
What it is essentially is you touching and stroking yourself slowly, lovingly with an intention to FEEL, not driving yourself to an outcome of orgasming and ejaculating. These sessions are like mini rituals with yourself, meditations on your body, edging and exploring, if you will. Becoming very curious about your capacity to hold the intensity of your s/xual pleasure, and expanding it with each session.
Try it out. Use my FREE self-pleasure practice (link below), at least 3-5 times a week for 30 days. Resist the urge to ejaculate all these times, have an intention to ejaculate just once/twice a week. Very Important: when you retain and choose not to ejaculate please make sure you use the breathwork (point #3) to help yourself from not ejaculating.
3. BELLY BREATHING/SOUNDING AND YOUR ATTENTION.
Slow, steady, full belly breath is KEY to keep your nervous system not in adrenalized, fight or flight mode (shallow/chest breathing), but in a deep relaxed state.
Breath into your belly through your nose, feel your belly expand like a balloon, draw your breath up to your chest, collarbone, and then exhale through your mouth with a sound on the exhale, feeling how your belly is contracting. Very Important: you need to breath like that during your practices at all times not only when you feel that you are moving towards a point of no return; and you need to breath like that (full belly breath on inhale and sound on the exhale) during sex with your partner at all times from start to finish. It may feel like you are performing at first, because it will feel very unnatural to you, but trust me, in time you and your body will get used to it and this will become your new norm.
Your ATTENTION is another key element in this whole technique. Please remember - where your attention goes, your energy flows. So at the time when you make love and you feel like you are about to explode - slow down, do the belly breathing and sound even more, and redirect your attention from your groin and onto your chest or head or hands or legs, any part of your body. The intensity in your groin will subside. You may also slightly lose your erection but do not worry, it will come back once you continue the movement.
So there it is! Very simple techniques that you need to remember to practice not only when you make love but in your personal practice. And remember, your consistency and commitment matter.
If you want to take this deeper, I have a free performance anxiety training that walks you through tools like these and how to apply them. You can access it below!
FREE PERFORMANCE ANXIETY TRAINING
And for those who are ready to go further, my Summer Sale is open through August 31. This is the final time I’ll be offering this style of work before my coaching shifts into a new chapter.
You can book private coaching at my closing rates:
A single 90-minute breakthrough session for $250 (normally $300)
A 3-session series for $750 (normally $1,000)
A 6-month deep dive for $3,000 (normally $4,000)
With devotion,
Iryna