What if you looked for what’s right instead of what’s wrong?

Most of us were trained to look for what’s wrong. We scan for red flags, test for toxicity, analyze every text, and assume that if someone’s not setting our nervous system on fire… it must not be “the one.”

But conscious dating asks for a different lens. Not just to notice the problems—but to recognize the possibilities.

Green flags don’t always look how you think they will. They’re not loud. They don’t always give you butterflies. But they do feel like something in your body is softening. Like you don’t have to try so hard. Like your system isn’t on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Green flags might sound like:

“I want to check in with how you’re feeling.”
“I’m open to going slower if you need.”
“I really respect how clear you are about what you want.”
“I don’t know the answer yet, but I’ll sit with it and get back to you.”
“This matters to me too.”

Green flags feel like someone taking responsibility for their own emotions. Like someone showing up when it’s not convenient. Like consistency over intensity.

But if you’ve been in dynamics where chaos = chemistry, these green flags might feel… boring at first. Or too easy. Or even suspicious.

And that’s okay. Your system might not be used to safe being the baseline.

But when you start to heal, that’s what becomes attractive: calm. clarity. honesty. follow-through.

This week, I want to invite you to notice the green flags—within others, yes, but also in yourself. The way you’re getting clearer. The way you’re catching old patterns quicker. The way you’re not settling just because someone’s giving you attention.

That’s growth. That’s attraction shifting. That’s you getting closer to what you’re really calling in.

And yes—what I'm launching in May will help you get clarity on this too!

Much love and gratitude,

Iryna