Not every connection is meant to last, but it can still be sacred

We compromise a lot for a hot, passionate sexual or emotional connection—our values, true desires, even our sense of self for some.

We glance over the “red flags,” abandon ourselves and create a false image of the person we share this connection with. We don’t see them for who they are.

Why? It's because through strong sexual and emotional relationships, our bodies try to heal the traumatic experiences from childhood (alongside nature’s biological call for procreation). We enter into what’s often called a “trauma bond.”

In many cases, the connection doesn’t have to become that. But in my experience, it’s almost always been an opportunity for healing and growth.

So should we avoid sex if the pull is obviously strong? Should we stay away from it?

No.

What I always suggest to my clients is this: make an intentional choice about what you want to create through this connection. Never abandon yourself in the process.

Is this connection for a long-term partnership—or is it simply an exploration of intimacy?

Either path deserves a conscious approach—knowing our true desires, authentic communication, and honest agreements. 

And also: a slow pace and Spaciousness. Time to breathe, listen, feel.

At times we enter a connection before we feel clear on our desires or long-term vision. And that’s okay. Clarity often comes with time. With getting to know the person. With truly seeing them for who they are—and letting ourselves evolve and change along the way.

And yes, sometimes these relationships are inevitable and needed. Even when, deep down, our soul knows this is not our person in the long run, we still enter them—for the growth of our human parts. For healing. For the evolution into higher levels of consciousness.

We may not recognize it at the beginning, but there is always a cost. And also, these rides can be beautiful—if we surrender and observe.

So for those of you dating right now:

Allow yourself to date from your true desires. With intentionality. With an open heart. With honest communication. And with deep appreciation for the experience.

Because who you become in the process…
Is a human who has more love to give—and more capacity to receive it as a result.

Much love and gratitude,

Iryna