The kind of dominance women actually want
When most men think of being “dominant,” they picture something harsh or controlling. That is not the kind of dominance women are craving.
What I see again and again is that what truly draws women in is something I call benevolent dominance. A man who leads with confidence, direction, assertiveness, and presence. Someone grounded, kind, and safe, with a hint of wildness — like a wolf or a lion you can feel is powerful enough to destroy, even though he never would.
I was talking with a former client of mine recently. He’s become a close friend over the years and someone I’m incredibly proud of. He shared a story about a date he’d been on and how the work he’s done shaped the way he showed up.
He told me:
“I was on a dinner date, and as dinner ended, it felt like the night wasn’t finished yet. In the middle of a cold NYC winter, especially during Covid, there weren’t many options for continuing the evening.
So I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place for a drink. As soon as I said it, I felt her body contract. I could sense the hesitation, so I looked at her and said, ‘Please don’t worry. I don’t sleep with women on a first date, and I promise you are safe. And I also promise that I will make out with you.’
She smiled, said yes, and we had a fantastic time.”
He didn’t overthink it. He didn’t beg or demand. He led. He created safety, while also being clear and playful about his desire. If she said no, he would have been fine. His value wasn’t tied to the outcome.
By holding both safety and intrigue, he made space for her to relax and actually want to be there with him.
When he told me this, I could feel it in my own body. My chest softened. My whole system relaxed, and at the same time, there was heat and a sense of playfulness moving through me.
Most men need guidance to access this part of themselves (the wolf, the lion.) It is not something that is forced. It is something that comes alive when there is permission and understanding of how to wield it with care.
And from what I know of women, there is a deep longing for men who can hold this energy. Women want to feel led into surrender by someone they trust, not controlled or overpowered, but met fully.
If this is something you want to access in yourself, this summer is the last time to work with me in this way.
Through August 31, my 1:1 coaching is open at a closing rate before my work shifts into a new chapter. You can start with:
A single 90-minute breakthrough session for $250 (normally $300)
A 3-session series for $750 (normally $1,000)
A full 6-month deep dive for $3,000 (normally $4,000)
If this is the energy you know you need to embody, this is your last chance. After August 31, my coaching will be taking a pivot and these offers will no longer be available.
If you feel ready to explore what this work could look like for you, you can view my offerings and book a session below.
With devotion,
Iryna